Not my own strength but His

“We are not on this earth to accumulate victories, things, and experiences, but to be whittled and sandpapered until what’s left is who we truly are.”  

– Arianna Huffington

God allowed me to experience many, many things to appreciate how He works through my life. I know that despite the negative things that has happened to me a few days ago (losing phone, failing a quiz, hurtful comments), I anchored my strength in Him to keep going. If I just rely on my own strength, I know I will just go back to the pessimistic-and-easily-discouraged version of myself. But  God is so good, He disguises these sad moments to make me see how my family and my friends love me. I sometimes feel ashamed that I am not worthy of this amazing love, yet God’s love overflows. All I can do is stare in awe, and do my best to respond in His call to love others.

Today is one of those days when I felt so energized. Though I already know how God loves me, it is still different when you try to reflect back on those moments when you think you’ve exhausted all of yourself, when you were so much in pain, when you think you’re already a hopeless case, when all you want is to shut yourself from the world away from every living fiber. But God is so great, He surrounds me with a loving God, family, and friends and I find strength to face my fears and uncertainties all over again.

Five months before, my relationship with Him and my family and friends is not like this. Not at all. Before, I would rather keep things to myself or write it down on my journal. But God showed me that why not open up to people and see how they can make me see the world beautifully. Why not allow Him to take control of my life again? I’m glad I did.

Fast forward to the present, God never stops moving mountains and oceans right before my own eyes. I know that the remaining journey is long, winding, and difficult. There will be storms to chase and dreams to fulfill. My bucket list never stops growing. But after talking to some of my closest friends today, I know that God’s plans in my life will bring me beyond my own dreams. He will turn them into a beautiful reality. All I need is to continue to draw strength, trust, and inspiration from Him.  To choose Him even when the world doesn’t.

As the year 2012 draws near to it’s end, I am getting clearer picture of what God’s plan has intended for me. This year has been a year filled with discernment. This year I felt I was at my lowest point, but  it is the same moment that my vulnerability opened me to the biggest changes in my life. This year God showed me how important it is to invest in people and earn life’s greatest rewards in return. This year I had to deal with tragic losses, but gained significantly in y relationship with Him and with my loved ones.

With a brave heart, I know I can be bigger than my own fears for the years ahead because I have a great God with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is one of my favorite worship songs at the moment. Thank you Lord, for using people’s talents to inspire me as well.

How He Loves Us

He is jealous for me
Love’s like a hurricane,
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of
His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
(x2)

Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves.
(x2)

We are His portion and
He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption
by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns
violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
OH, how He loves
(x2)

Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us
He loves us
He loves us
He loves.

Yeah, He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves

He loves us,
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves us
Whoa, how He loves

 

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About nadineestrella

A passionate leader. A driven learner. A life lover. I believe in God. I play hard, I work smart, I pay attention to details. I always try to see the beauty in life and the goodness in others. I love reading books, exploring places, and experimenting with food. I play different roles: a true friend, a loyal sister, a loving daughter, a faithful woman.

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